Flurry of Joy

[garden_pixie]

Quietness has been a deep friend of mine, like a silent companion that holds my friend, reassuring, loving and stable. My *need* to be loud, heard and understood (and that all Leo trait: right) has dissolved to such a point that it surprises me now when it surfaces... where it seemed that even just a few eras, heart beats and skips before, it was my constant companion.

Culturally this makes me a bit awkward in the western tribal culture that I adore. Most of those who have been my companions for the last 15 years are in that place, and reward and desire loud, pay attention to me type actions and attitudes. Finding myself just wanting to be present, engaged but not trying to be the raucous can be lonely.

In this way I don't miss traveling with Orion and House of Brigh. The constant flurry of "OMG!" everywhere was fun sometimes, tiring at best, and hurtful to my spirit in a very deep way. I missed having just quiet deep connections with people. No need to talk, but deep presence.

I like having creative fun, playing hard and engaging in true joy... but as an outpouring of depth of connection... the Source of that joy I desire it to be the connection to Spirit.

Comments

Curious

[ben strider willman (from livejournal.com)]

I was wondering more about your comment about a need for silence and deep connection. Did you not feel like you were getting that with Orion?

Re: Curious

[garden-pixie.livejournal.com]

Smile! Oh no, there was no quiet. The whole scene was pretty ADD for me at least. I loved the people and had fun, but I am an introvert and need more solitude than traveling widely afforded, I'm afraid.