![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
In that Merry Month of Mabon???
Sep. 20th, 2008 09:41 amSeptember 20, 2008
This time of year, I feel this intense pressure. I feel a pressure to run and leave everything. To say fuck it to every aspect of my life. This is something that happens yearly, and synchronizes just like my Moon Cycle. I feel this rage inside of me, and a shaking feeling like I volcano. I just want to push this mountain forward by the strength of my own feelings.
I used to demonize other people (and myself) for this feeling I got every year. I thought that there was something wrong with my environment or what I was doing, and this pressure would cause emotional decisions that were hurtful to me and my colleagues.
I would be lying if I said I knew what it was. I was looking for Fattah this to see if I could have him do a reading on it to shed some light while it was here and actively present. It could just be something that I can use yearly if I want to push through massive amounts of shit, or it could be a true side of myself coming out that is dormant the rest of the year.
Perhaps this is why this time of year is Thanksgiving. To remind us why we are happy with what we have while we make changes?
Or, it could be that I really feel the way that I do, and I get to the point where I am explosively speaking my truth and the rest of the year I am figuring it out each time.
This time of year, I feel this intense pressure. I feel a pressure to run and leave everything. To say fuck it to every aspect of my life. This is something that happens yearly, and synchronizes just like my Moon Cycle. I feel this rage inside of me, and a shaking feeling like I volcano. I just want to push this mountain forward by the strength of my own feelings.
I used to demonize other people (and myself) for this feeling I got every year. I thought that there was something wrong with my environment or what I was doing, and this pressure would cause emotional decisions that were hurtful to me and my colleagues.
I would be lying if I said I knew what it was. I was looking for Fattah this to see if I could have him do a reading on it to shed some light while it was here and actively present. It could just be something that I can use yearly if I want to push through massive amounts of shit, or it could be a true side of myself coming out that is dormant the rest of the year.
Perhaps this is why this time of year is Thanksgiving. To remind us why we are happy with what we have while we make changes?
Or, it could be that I really feel the way that I do, and I get to the point where I am explosively speaking my truth and the rest of the year I am figuring it out each time.
