being stretched
Feb. 5th, 2009 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
garden_pixieI negotiated my first real business lease today. At least, most of the way. I haven't signed paperwork, but I did my homework, I asked good questions and between Troy and I, I think we managed to get ourself into a good location. We are waiting for a deposit to go through, we have to get a financial overview to the property management company and then I think we will be ok! :) I can't wait.
This level of interacting in my hometown as a professional is totally engaging. I like the idea of being where I am at and I like doing what I do. It's hard on my body right now as it is having kittens when it gets sick, I really go down... and also, it's hard when I don't have someone at home taking care of my home. My puppies get strange when I am gone and my house goes uncleaned for awhile.
Then there is the life path section. This is the part of me that is figuring out what I want aside from my job. I have been given the option to just focus on that and not have to work, and this, while a dream for most people, looks a lot like hell to me. The truth is, I don't know who I am apart from what I do.
this is something that leads me to do things perhaps I wouldn't otherwise just to show "who I am." LOL so does that mean I'm not that thing? Hah!
Anyway, it's late... I've rambled on this topic now for a few weeks and I am not going to solve it tonight in an LJ post.
This level of interacting in my hometown as a professional is totally engaging. I like the idea of being where I am at and I like doing what I do. It's hard on my body right now as it is having kittens when it gets sick, I really go down... and also, it's hard when I don't have someone at home taking care of my home. My puppies get strange when I am gone and my house goes uncleaned for awhile.
Then there is the life path section. This is the part of me that is figuring out what I want aside from my job. I have been given the option to just focus on that and not have to work, and this, while a dream for most people, looks a lot like hell to me. The truth is, I don't know who I am apart from what I do.
this is something that leads me to do things perhaps I wouldn't otherwise just to show "who I am." LOL so does that mean I'm not that thing? Hah!
Anyway, it's late... I've rambled on this topic now for a few weeks and I am not going to solve it tonight in an LJ post.
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no subject
Date: 2/6/09 03:53 pm (UTC)Right there with you on that!
no subject
Date: 2/6/09 08:38 pm (UTC)What you choose to do with your time & power says everything about what's going on inside you. Not to say that doing lots is better or worse than doing little at any given time. It's not the effort or quantity, but the "what", I think.
Thing is, you are still what you 'used to do' too, just to a more subtle extent. Your experiences inform the way you do what you do right now. I used to worry that if I stopped doing something, that I would no longer count as validly being a competent "that". Not so- just like you don't have to restrict how much you love for fear of running out of some finite amount of it that you're alotted. Anyways, don't know if that relates to your deal, but it's been a thing for me.
Some things come to the forefront and are visible right out there, the other things bubble away invisibly in your soul. All of it combines to make a complex, unique, multilayered mysterious YOU.
...a YOU that I happen to LOVE!
*mwah!*