Circle Around like the Moth

The topic of conversation last night moved, as it sometimes does, to a girl we met at a pagan gathering last year. She was a young, probably early twenties hippie chick, who didn't wash, didn't hold a job and was self professed "from the stars." Now, I could go on about what I think about such people, and I do have opinions, believe me, but really where my brain goes to is the way that people cobble together bits of traditions and leave out the hard parts of theirs. Traditions, I believe, are used to create a necessary tension inside to help catapult us forward. They work, not because they are right (my hope is that if we are in a tradition at all, it is right for us), but because they are facilitating a creative tension in us that activates the inner life. It creates a reminder for us about where we are going and why. This is what is said when we speak of discipline.

Many traditions have ways of disciplining. Eastern traditions have archery, yoga, meditation work, silence and mindfulness practices. Some Christian traditions have rules about alcohol or drug use, swearing, sexuality or fasting. Our tradition of Wicca and others like us, have disciplines towards the upkeep of hearth and home, fasting, prayer work, daily meditations, no drug use/ no heavy alcohol use during certain stages of training. Other Wiccan trads require you to become vegetarian, hold vigils at certain times, not practice other traditions at the same time, and so forth. While the action does limit the initiate, the point of these is not aimed at the limitation, in truth, but to act as a reminder and help the initiate develop some sort of self knowledge and awareness.

As a Wiccan priestess, I am always telling my initiates that it is easy to be an initiate by yourself. The work starts to get hard when you move into community. We are all saints alone. It's easy to be fluid when there are no requirements. Our craft is perfect when no one is looking or when I can cobble together any practice that makes me feel comfortable. Craft isn't about being comfortable, its about embracing our power, being grounded in our truest self, and living fully and in right relationship with nature, humanity and the Gods. (among other things) Priestess Miriam of the voodoo tradition in NOLA once told me that my job as a priestess wasn't to make people comfortable. It was to make them uncomfortable. Because if they get comfortable, they will pull up a chair, put their feet up and stay where they were. The job of the tradition is not to make us comfortable, it's to make us stronger. It is supposed to push us off the ledge (proverbially speaking). Boot camp isn't comfortable. University work isn't comfortable. Child rearing or holding a job isn't comfortable. We get comfortable as we become stronger.

One of the most common pitfalls today that I see in craft is lack of discipline. As soon as things get tough, the first thing that gets chucked is our meditation practice, our spiritual communities and our regular magical work. We remove the tension to make ourselves comfortable in order to go back to what we were doing before. There is a sense that because we were comfortable before and it felt good, it must have been right, and what we are doing now must not be because we feel anxious, stressed, angry or hurt. We freak out and remove the tensions as quickly as possible. I also have noticed that the reason most often stated of why people come to paganism initially is because they can do what they want when they want and how they want to do it. They are "tired of the monotheistic right and wrong system." What this sounds to me is like a child's perfect world of "I don't want to eat my veggies, go to sleep ever, or clean my room". What it creates is a high chair tyrant who has serious problems with authority, who has no grounding in reality, who has no ability to function in the real world, and has a entertaining level of self delusion of what their abilities actually are. People are using their spirituality as a justification for their lack of discipline and aimlessness.

Any true faith system, magical system or religious system worth its weight is going to require its initiates to hold to a discipline. It is going to make its initiates work, act with intention and they are going to feel limited. Paganism isn't about not being limited, its about freedom. People get confused about this. They think that freedom means doing anything that you want. However, this is a misnomer. Freedom as a state of being is freeing yourself from impulses that whip you around and run your life. Disciplines remove you from the fear tradition and instill a tradition of intentional living.

To go from whim to whim to whim isn't freedom. It's slavery.